Last night, after the cotillion I filmed, I had some 'revelations' so-to-speak.

I looked around my room at home (home-home, not apartment). And I thought of weird descriptions for the things I saw around my room.

For example:

Crayons: the medium of childhood.

Haha I know. Freakin' weird. Bear with me I guess. =D

Hmm.. what else.

I'm currently reading this book by Daniel Pink called "A Whole New Mind: Why Right-Brainers Will Rule the Future." I'll spare the details/description of the book for later... but anyway, I guess the book has got me thinking. In strange ways. But it's a really good book - and coming from someone who hasn't read anything substantial other than for schoolwork in a while... yea, that means something.

Anyway, I just read a chapter about how research has been producing other standardized testing besides the usual SATs and stuff. The US is a standardized test -driven country. Sick, no? So I thought of this one:

Number 2 Pencils: Etching in the future of children, one bubble at a time.
(rephrase as need be.. tried to go catchy with that...)

Sorry if others have done these things before; it's insanely hard not to intrude on the cliche nowadays. I mean, it's hard because there are SO many writers out there, so much so that I'm SURE someone has thought of the stupid things I was and am thinking about.

How do we even avoid being cliche? How can we fight to be original? These are some of the premises mentioned in the book I'm reading, so forgive me if I'm just questioning the cliche.

It's like stumbling upon landmines of copyrights and legalities and claims of ownership... Where's the free space that's left to just write originally? What space is left to be original?

See, the world is changing. And I diverge back into topics discussed in this book I'm reading. Yes, the world is changing. Because for the last century or so we've been in the Information Age, where Information was the key to success. Now...? The story is changing. Enter the world of the Conceptual Age, where the key to success will be something other than crunching numbers and logic and simplicity (these things can now be outsourced to India, the Philippines, ANYWHERE there's skilled workers who will work for such a lesser wage; on top of that, any COMPUTER can process menial/tedious info in SECONDS, which leaves regular logic-only people in the dust..).

Guess what? We've got to start thinking for ourselves. The statistics say so.
I could list em all out now, but I'll just recommend the book I'm reading.
So good. The future for us?

Not written in stone. Not mapped out based on standardized test scores that only measure the logistics and tangible numbers, but on what WE as HUMANS can present as ORIGINAL. How we are original is the key to success.

Push for originality. You're not the superstar you see on the big screen, because there's someone else who may fit the stereotypical mold that you fit in (trust me, the film industry can find another YOU who's better, because all they see is a headshot and a resume). You're not just a regular old engineer in the US (whose work can be replaced by an equally smart person off in another country). You're not just a computer programmer (because let's face it. Computers are going to rule us in the LOGIC department sooner than later - they've already created a software to CREATE softwares!).

What we DO have is this: You're the wannabe superstar with a creative edge - like, for instance a video attachment to your resume. You're the engineer with innovation - ahead of the game, because you have the resources available to you, so that you can forge ahead with a NEW technology. You're the computer programmer that knows humans better than computers know humans, so that you can create software that tailors much better to us humans.



WOW, way off tangent.
Anyway, off to go on a kind of 'retreat' away from NJ. Not going far, or for a long time, but.... whatev's. I'll be back and ready for school.

Laters.

Must gather up the strength to begin change and accept change.


To feel Independence again, to find a voice, to find reason, to renew.



To be continued.

Isn't it amazing?! I'm changing. Constantly. Growing.

Two weeks of relative freedom (minus China Nite DVD cranking out...), which equates to some "me" time and some well-needed hang out time.

Just got back from Cancun. Wrapped up my Japanese class with a grade I expected and worked hard for. Not working at AS anymore. Hoping to land this other job at a PR firm. Things are always CHANGING. And for someone who doesn't normally enjoy change, I can safely say I'm handling it relatively well (minus the occasional questioning of things... x_x).

All I really need right now is to continue pushing for focus and motivation the way I did this summer with my class.

Hmm... I'm listening to old school backstreet boys. HAHAHA. <3

Excerpt time from the black notebook, friends.

(premise: relaying some things from Cancun.. )

The humidity took some getting used to, but I enjoyed it after a while...
Highlights? Flea Market. Sea water. Pool flips. Chichen Itza. Cenote (water hole). Xcaret. Underground river. Snorkeling. Swimming in water where I can't touch the ground, with large fish way beneath me. Souvenirs. Getting wet in the rain. Jokes and laughing. Drinking at the bar. Being legal. Talks by the poolside. Metting a Japanese woman on our tour bus and conversing with her (slightly). Swimming. Shopping. Singing. Tats. Seeing strange things on TV.

The experience was great. Enjoyable.
I felt the turning point. The balance that I struggled to achieve, between responsibilities and approaching adulthood (gosh, I'm paying for my own housing and tuition... working my way through college... yay bills x_x).... and having the immature fun of being with those younger than you (jokes and quotes and more).

Turning point.
At 20.
To be continued.


~~
Looking forward to this semester actually. It's going to be yet another balancing act, with FIND, RAPS eboard, Targum work, 15 Credits, and a part time job.

But I love being busy.

So here's to being busy, productive, etc.
Because no matter how much I love "LAZY," being lazy will not get me anywhere in life.
Mhmmmm.

=]
That's all for now.
And I'll always remember...

Anything. Is. Possible.

Yes, I thought I could get away with creating a new blog just for straight up writing.. but I can't get away from the ambiguous heart-felt statements that I'm so used to blurbing out!


So here's the one I just wrote while fighting sleepiness and a smile after a whirlwind of unexpected messages. Haha...:




psh. who's playin' who?


all i know is that i can't help but smile.






yeah, i've been through my share of ish, son. i was so emo and shit for a long time... so much so that i could kick myself just thinking about those times. i've got writings upon writings to prove it. i've got my ups and downs. life has its ups and downs. we've all got our insecurities.
trust and mistrust.
faith and faithlessness.


i.. don't know. countless times i gave up on so many things; but this early in the game, when it's so easy to talk to you and everything.. psh, i feel more confidence than usual. i don't know, maybe you make me want to match your confidence or something. ^_^


i know that friendship is valuable. i'm not looking for anything more than that right now. i've learned my lesson so-to-speak. and i'm nice enough to think about other people in a situation like mine.. (which, btw, you don't even know my situation, son! psssh. maybe i'll tell you. someday. laaadeedaa.)

so you chill, son! i got this on lock. i ain't easy, nor am i always miss nice girl. never really thought of myself in that light. i've always been the pessimistic one ... but i'm someone who strives to get what she wants when she thinks it's really worth it. (maybe i think you're really worth it. don't ask me why.. !)

so yea. i argue that you just don't know me well enough (mmm....yet. psh. xP).

even if you wanna 'shut me down' in that way, i don't care. be my friend! friends (for the most part lol) are awesome. =D


it's up to you to make the next move.
but... we don't have to end in checkmate just yet. haha~



now, time for sleep. nitey nite.

Going down MEMORY LANE, folks.. because right now, I have too many thoughts in my head to actually produce something tangible/logical. It's been a long day.

Therefore! Memories, yes? Writings from the past?? Xangerrr revisted maybe?? Mmm.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

college debating college this college that and it all comes down to one school out of seven: Rutgers University. o_o "what the hell?" you might say. yeah i was thinking the same thing. never in a million years would i have EVER even considered APPLYING to rutgers. but a lot can change in several months. october-ish: decided to just apply for the hell of it. november-ish (i think): first acceptance. then the rest followed: scranton, ithaca, st. peter's, montclair, hofstra, and finally fordham (FU i just got like 2 weeks ago lol) as time progressed, it was like narrowed down to fordham, hofstra, or rutgers (tho that fluctuated) 60% sure about RU.. then 70%... 75%... etc... march: (80% sure i was going) scared left arm (5:57:38 PM): and im most likely going to ru tho not sure and the percentage increased steadily.. little by little.. besides i spent like every weekend at rutgers anyway lmao... and today, april 8, 2006, i officially enrolled. o_0 -the end of my college search process. now the enrollment/college life/college payments/college forms/orientations begin. xD 2010~ hopefully Journalism & Media Studies//Marketing double major.. or Journalism & Media Studies w/ Psychology minor. or Marketing w/ Psychology minor. o_o

Friday, November 12, 2004

(formerly) Protected entry. yuh huh. that's right. you should feel special. lolz Today, or rather the past couple of days, we have been discussing love in religion class. all about love and hate and apathy. interesting topic to analyze. another discussion that i enjoyed was in english class today - about catcher in the rye, a classic novel we're reading.. and of course a slew of things were brought up and mentioned, mostly about teenage life, dealing with things, lying, and the like. boy, after all this, I was inspired. so now i'm here, even though i swore to myself that i wouldn't go near the computer this weekend, let alone today. but i just didn't last. har har. LOVE. apparently, the opposite of love is not hate. in truth, the opposite of love is apathy. apathy is when you don't feel at all towards a person... there are no feelings involved, nothing. just... "dead" in a sense. to be apathetic to a person is worse than hate. for in hating someone, you do indeed care for that person. you may be saying "what?!"... well yes, you care for that person, because hate is an emotion, a feeling. so you do care about a person enough to hate them... whoa. confusing. but if you think about it, it's actually pretty darn true. and i just shook my head up and down as religion class ensued. LYING. the main character/ narrator of Catcher in the Rye is Holden Caulfield, a "truth-stretcher" at best and a rutheless and thoughtless liar at worst. but of course, there are many underlying reasons as to why he does lie. hmm. sound familiar?.... in our lives, and i guess i'm merely speaking from my own personal point of view, we often do lie to cover up some underlying reason(s)... things we may not even realize at the time, much less dwell upon. it's a sad prospect, yes, but a very true and realistic occurence. it's something we cannot readily deny. it's just part of that "coming-of-age" thing i hear all the time in english class. it's part of finding yourself, part of the journey, a part that involves making the mistakes we can eventually learn from. hmm. I will be honest in making the following short and consise observation, with no strings attached (and for generality's sake - note.. is generality a word?? haha): I'm sensitive, I understand, and I'm here for you. that's what being a friend's all about. ~Angelica

Friday, April 09, 2004

I'm not sure exactly why i do, but i always feel certain emotions that others go through. it probably is because i was born sensitive, emotionally sensitive. i cry when my friends do, i laugh when they do, i feel their pain, i feel their happiness. and sometimes i'm the supporter. and sometimes i'm the one needing support. and i know i have friends who are going to be there for me, as i am there for them.

i can't express how much i care for my friends, my family. there are times that i feel they aren't there for me.. but in the end, i know the truth. they'll never leave my side, and i will never leave theirs.

but there are things i never tell anyone, not a single soul, and one day the time will come for me to "bare all". but until then, i try to live my life each day. i know one thing's for sure: life is about questioning oneself. and as a teenager, this is especially hard. sometimes there are things in your heart that don't want to reveal themsleves. only time will tell.

if i start sounding weird, here comes more. ive been reading this book called "the Complete Idiot's Guide to Spirituality for Teens", and i have to say that this is the most insightful and true-to-heart book on Spirituality that i've ever read.

"A spiritual life is in pursuit of the genuine good life. It seeks goodness-real goodness. It believes taht without goodness, Life is empty; Life is void of meaning; Life is without hope."
"Strive to know the truth. Strive to know what you truly feel. Strive to know what you truly think. Strive to know that you truly believe. Look for the truth in others. Live your truth. Let your chioces be informed by the truth. Never fear the truth."
And so much more. Some of the words in this book are so .... powerful and meaningful that it really makes me question a lot in life... and search for the truth.

~Gelz
"The world is hard to love, though we must love it because we have no other, and to fail to love it is not to exist at all." - Mark Van Doren

that's it for now.. sleepy sleep.