Going down MEMORY LANE, folks.. because right now, I have too many thoughts in my head to actually produce something tangible/logical. It's been a long day.
Therefore! Memories, yes? Writings from the past?? Xangerrr revisted maybe?? Mmm.
| college debating college this college that and it all comes down to one school out of seven: Rutgers University. o_o "what the hell?" you might say. yeah i was thinking the same thing. never in a million years would i have EVER even considered APPLYING to rutgers. but a lot can change in several months. october-ish: decided to just apply for the hell of it. november-ish (i think): first acceptance. then the rest followed: scranton, ithaca, st. peter's, montclair, hofstra, and finally fordham (FU i just got like 2 weeks ago lol) as time progressed, it was like narrowed down to fordham, hofstra, or rutgers (tho that fluctuated) 60% sure about RU.. then 70%... 75%... etc... march: (80% sure i was going) scared left arm (5:57:38 PM): and im most likely going to ru tho not sure and the percentage increased steadily.. little by little.. besides i spent like every weekend at rutgers anyway lmao... and today, april 8, 2006, i officially enrolled. o_0 -the end of my college search process. now the enrollment/college life/college payments/college forms/orientations begin. xD 2010~ hopefully Journalism & Media Studies//Marketing double major.. or Journalism & Media Studies w/ Psychology minor. or Marketing w/ Psychology minor. o_o |
(formerly) Protected entry. yuh huh. that's right. you should feel special. lolz Today, or rather the past couple of days, we have been discussing love in religion class. all about love and hate and apathy. interesting topic to analyze. another discussion that i enjoyed was in english class today - about catcher in the rye, a classic novel we're reading.. and of course a slew of things were brought up and mentioned, mostly about teenage life, dealing with things, lying, and the like. boy, after all this, I was inspired. so now i'm here, even though i swore to myself that i wouldn't go near the computer this weekend, let alone today. but i just didn't last. har har. LOVE. apparently, the opposite of love is not hate. in truth, the opposite of love is apathy. apathy is when you don't feel at all towards a person... there are no feelings involved, nothing. just... "dead" in a sense. to be apathetic to a person is worse than hate. for in hating someone, you do indeed care for that person. you may be saying "what?!"... well yes, you care for that person, because hate is an emotion, a feeling. so you do care about a person enough to hate them... whoa. confusing. but if you think about it, it's actually pretty darn true. and i just shook my head up and down as religion class ensued. LYING. the main character/ narrator of Catcher in the Rye is Holden Caulfield, a "truth-stretcher" at best and a rutheless and thoughtless liar at worst. but of course, there are many underlying reasons as to why he does lie. hmm. sound familiar?.... in our lives, and i guess i'm merely speaking from my own personal point of view, we often do lie to cover up some underlying reason(s)... things we may not even realize at the time, much less dwell upon. it's a sad prospect, yes, but a very true and realistic occurence. it's something we cannot readily deny. it's just part of that "coming-of-age" thing i hear all the time in english class. it's part of finding yourself, part of the journey, a part that involves making the mistakes we can eventually learn from. hmm. I will be honest in making the following short and consise observation, with no strings attached (and for generality's sake - note.. is generality a word?? haha): I'm sensitive, I understand, and I'm here for you. that's what being a friend's all about. ~Angelica |
Friday, April 09, 2004
I'm not sure exactly why i do, but i always feel certain emotions that others go through. it probably is because i was born sensitive, emotionally sensitive. i cry when my friends do, i laugh when they do, i feel their pain, i feel their happiness. and sometimes i'm the supporter. and sometimes i'm the one needing support. and i know i have friends who are going to be there for me, as i am there for them.
i can't express how much i care for my friends, my family. there are times that i feel they aren't there for me.. but in the end, i know the truth. they'll never leave my side, and i will never leave theirs.
but there are things i never tell anyone, not a single soul, and one day the time will come for me to "bare all". but until then, i try to live my life each day. i know one thing's for sure: life is about questioning oneself. and as a teenager, this is especially hard. sometimes there are things in your heart that don't want to reveal themsleves. only time will tell.
if i start sounding weird, here comes more. ive been reading this book called "the Complete Idiot's Guide to Spirituality for Teens", and i have to say that this is the most insightful and true-to-heart book on Spirituality that i've ever read.
"A spiritual life is in pursuit of the genuine good life. It seeks goodness-real goodness. It believes taht without goodness, Life is empty; Life is void of meaning; Life is without hope."
"Strive to know the truth. Strive to know what you truly feel. Strive to know what you truly think. Strive to know that you truly believe. Look for the truth in others. Live your truth. Let your chioces be informed by the truth. Never fear the truth."
And so much more. Some of the words in this book are so .... powerful and meaningful that it really makes me question a lot in life... and search for the truth.
~Gelz
"The world is hard to love, though we must love it because we have no other, and to fail to love it is not to exist at all." - Mark Van Doren
that's it for now.. sleepy sleep.
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